Sunday, October 30, 2005

Random thoughts

It's been a while since I posted. Schedule has gotten pretty busy, but I still want to try and post here, just to get thoughts out. I also have an actual paper journal that I also have been remiss in writing in. Seems to go in cycles, oh well just flow with the cycle I suppose. I'll separate my thoughts into topics...

Mom

October 13th was the anniversary of her death. It has been three years now. It is weird, I don't know if I can really explain my grief because it changes each day. Sometimes I just want to curl up and cry because I miss her so much. Other times it is more bittersweet, when I will think of something she would have laughed at or how much I think she and G would have gotten along. All these shows now about ghos whiperers...makes me wonder if she is out there looking over me. But then I think thats all a bunch of crap and am I just playing into the dramatizations etc. I guess the only thing is I will just continue to miss my mom.

WLS

I had my two month (actually seems like it should be longer) follow up with the doctor on Monday. The official loss is 45 pounds. On the one hand that seems like only a little bit, but then on the other thats a heck of a lot for two months! Everyone at the dr's office was pleased with my progress so I guess I can't complain. I finally can start to see the changes myself. A couple of people have mentioned they can see it in my face...thats great but I want to see it in my thighs! :)

The holidays

Went to a Halloween/birthday party this weekend, had a fun time although didn't know too many people there. Hung out for a little bit was good to socialize. I suggested to G that we have a cocktail type party after the new year. This Thanksgiving my dad and his wife are coming to visit. G actually invited them. There are still some unresolved issues between G and my dad's wife. I know it was a big step for him to ask them, I know he doesn't do anything he doesn't want to do but I also think he did it partly for me. I hope that it will also be an opportunity to talk and while I think the words that were said about G can never be forgotten, maybe it can be a chance to discuss and move forward. We will see what happens. We have several things planned but I honestly do hope that we can talk as a family.

Me

My schedule has gotten a bit crazy with the two classes and a big workload at work. I'm starting to feel a little stressed, but trying to handle it and not let too much pile up. I have to be smart about what I can delegate at work...that should help a bit. I also worry I don't help as much at home. G and I have been supposed to make a "chore list" as neither one of us married the other for our housekeeping skills (I gave G a glimpse of that on our first date!) and we keep putting it off. Although we do have the laundry down, G does and I put away :) I was going to call my friend in CA tonight, as G reminded me, but now its later (but not that late in CA). I always worry I'm interrupting something when I call so of course I am going to put it off...but I will call this week.

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